Summary
I woke up in a parallel world to discover I had become a priest. Not just any priest—a male healer renowned for his miraculous abilities to aid women in need. At first, it seemed like a dream come true. A profession built on compassion and service? No problem! Yet, as I delved deeper into my spellbook, my optimism began to waver.
What exactly was I supposed to do with a spell called “Instant Tummy Trouble?” That’s right—an incantation designed to trigger immediate, violent stomach issues. And let’s not even get started on “Fragile Bones Forever,” a curse that seems more fitting for a sadistic necromancer than a benevolent cleric. Was I supposed to heal people or haunt their nightmares?
Then there were the other spells: “Boiling Veins,” “Creeping Chill,” and “Mind Mayhem.” Each one sounded less like a tool of healing and more like a recipe for trauma. How was I supposed to focus on aiding women—or anyone, for that matter—when my entire arsenal felt like a prank gone too far?
Looking around, I couldn’t help but compare myself to the other professions in this bizarre world. Mages cast mighty spells like “Cataclysm” and “Endless Blizzard.” Swordsmen had heroic techniques such as “Blade Barrage” and “Cyclone Strike.” Even the archers showed off with skills like “Meteor Shower Arrows” and “Tempest Shot.” And here I was, the so-called holy man, stuck with ultimate abilities like “Rapid Cancer Spread,” “Zombie Virus Unleashed,” and “Rabid Frenzy.”
If that wasn’t bad enough, my powers were making waves—unintentionally, of course. A distraught girl once screamed, “I just bathed, and now I’ve got some sort of weird rash!” Meanwhile, a dying villain croaked, “Do you know what it’s like to explode into a fountain of blood? No, you wouldn’t!”
Even a supposedly invincible boss succumbed to my bizarre spells. His haunting last words? “My kidneys…where did they go? I only took a nap!”
Here I was, a healer in name, yet my powers brought chaos wherever I went. Was this my destiny? To bring healing through absolute misery? In this twisted reality, I was starting to think that even my prayers might backfire.